Qipao Takedown
by John Bigboote
Summary: Alisa tests out some of her Bad Medicine.


"_Relax, Officer. You're off duty now."_

\- Knight Rider 2000

* * *

Nina's angelic violet pawn was fighting Anna's oriental orange pawn. Alisa and Xiaoyu traded uppercuts with identical timing. They dodged each other's high kicks with weightless agility. They cartwheeled past each other like they were in an athletic race.

Xiaoyu lifted herself into a handstand and knotted her legs around Alisa's arms. Alisa retaliated by lifting her up by her waist and slamming her back down with the impact of a rocket crashing into the earth. Xiaoyu sat up wincing and rubbing her lower back just as Alisa flew at her with a diving kick.

The acrobatic phoenix rolled out of the way of the mechanical angel. Both fighters rebounded back to their feet and charged toward each other with fists drawn. To the human eye, Xiaoyu was a shimmering orange blur with glossy dark gray accents and white tassels flailing from her ankles. To Alisa's built-in 3D anatomical scanner, she looked no different from when Alisa saw her in the shower a couple of days ago. Visually interesting, but ultimately helpless.

Xiaoyu threw her punch first. Alisa caught her opponent by the wrist and violently twisted her arm out of its trajectory. Xiaoyu stumbled and took a one-way trip into a headlock.

The fragile organic was locked in the grip of the cold, powerful, ruthlessly efficient synthetic. Bright orange was overwhelmed by dark pink and midnight purple. Alisa applied her grapple on Xiaoyu like her arms were unbending metal bars securing the weaker fighter to one spot. She had a special attack in store for Xiaoyu, one so deadly their friendship would never have to be tested again.

Alisa tucked her lips next to Xiaoyu's ear as if she were going to whisper something secret and girly toward her.

"What the hell are you doing, you robot freak?!" Xiaoyu grunted as she struggled to pull Alisa's arm away from her neck. Alisa preferred to stay silent as she shifted her eyes toward Xiaoyu's ear and curled her lips into an eerie smirk.

The flower decoration in Alisa's hair opened its artificial petals as it collected solar energy from the clear sky. Alisa puckered her lips and gently spit a tiny black seed into Xiaoyu's ear. She held her gloved hand near Xiaoyu's face as her index finger transformed into a spinning motorized Q-tip. Moving her hand, she carefully eased the tool into Xiaoyu's ear.

A faint mechanical whir was followed by an abrupt cracking sound. Alisa pushed the seed past Xiaoyu's eardrum and through the casing of her cranium, where it rapidly integrated with her mind.

Xiaoyu shrieked as her eyes flew wide. Alisa released her hold and let her opponent stumble away clawing the sides of her head in misery. Xiaoyu's pigtails fluttered straight up as electricity surged through her skull and electrocuted her brain.

Alisa instantly defeated the enemy spy with what was probably the most "technical" form of a TKO ever witnessed. Xiaoyu collapsed to the grass with the thigh-length skirt of her cheongsam tucked between her legs.

After a short moment of total motionless, the orange fighter seemed to take her defeat in good spirits. She quickly rose back to her feet and brushed her frazzled black bangs out of her eyes.

"Hi Alisa!" the Chinese fighter said in a delightfully amiable manner. All of the stubborn rebelliousness was gone, leaving only a bright and cheery sunflower happy to share space with the other darker flower beside her.

"Hello, Xiaoyu," Alisa replied more quietly than her rival, tilting her head cautiously. She transformed her Q-tip back into her index finger and scratched her chin in suspicion.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Booted up and ready to rock!" Xiaoyu exclaimed while smiling and pumping her fist in the air.

"Great," Alisa said with a convinced grin. "Now let's get you tagged and registered."

Xiaoyu stood patiently with her arms at her sides. Alisa reached to Xiaoyu's underarm and shuffled her gloved fingers through the sleeveless sun-colored cheongsam. She gently cupped her palm around Xiaoyu's left breast underneath the orange dress. The Asian fighter silently waited and smiled as Alisa's palm pressed intense heat against her skin and branded her chest with the trademark symbol for BOSCONOVITCH LABS LTD. The next time she was walking around in a low-cut top or took her clothes off, the tattoo would be plainly visible so everyone knew who she belonged to.

Alisa calmly walked behind Xiaoyu, pulled the back of her nylon briefs down to her thighs, and performed similar maintenance on her right bottom cheek. Xiaoyu glimpsed over her shoulder playfully as she let Alisa work. She never flinched once.

Alisa readjusted the trunks for Xiaoyu and brushed the short cheongsam skirt down so part of the rear flank branding was visible between her briefs and her decorative leggings. Every high kick she threw with her right leg would come with a little exposed thigh and a Russian manufacturing seal of approval.

Alisa stepped back to give Xiaoyu one final look-over. Xiaoyu stood at attention in an endlessly joyful mood.

Verifying everything was in order, Alisa tapped her fingers to her temple. She spoke into a hidden microphone in her ear.

"I've completed the mission, Miss Williams. She'll be helping us from now on."

The voice of Nina Williams buzzed impatiently from a speaker inside her head. The volume was set loud enough so Xiaoyu could hear.

"_Pardon me if I'm wrong, but didn't I order you to __**kill**__ the target? I wouldn't want Anna to think I've gone soft on her." _

"But she **is** dead… legally speaking," Alisa corrected. "See these neural readings?"

She flexed her fingertips against the side of her head, wirelessly uploading a brainwave chart from her record banks. The graph showed Xiaoyu's natural brainwaves had utterly ceased to function due to irreversible neuron damage. Now an oscillating square wave was the only thing mechanically keeping her alive.

Nina paused for a second as she studied the readings on her end.

"_Christ. I guess __**that**__ peacock flapped her wings a little too close to the bug zapper. All she needs is some Szechuan sauce."_

She sighed over the radio as she reconsidered her options.

"_Oh, fine. I'll let you keep your new toy for being a good robo-girl. I'll probably be able to rub it in Anna's face the next time we meet. Just make sure to keep her G Corporation stink far away from me."_

Alisa glimpsed toward Xiaoyu. Xiaoyu's smile brightened a little more as she made eye contact with her friend. Alisa's nostrils twitched as particle receptors in her nose ran a quick analysis.

"I detect no unpleasant scent parameters emitting from this carbon form," Alisa said into her mic. She blinked in confusion.

Nina sighed again. Alisa could almost hear the sound of her commander rolling her eyes on the other end of the line.

"_It's a figure of speech, darling. Now get your little flower petals back to base so we can run the weekly diagnostic on you. That fight was the most wear and tear you've been through so far. Need to make sure you didn't blow any gaskets… and I guess we can make sure your girlfriend didn't break any bones."_

"Roger!" Alisa obediently answered before shutting off the radio link. She waved for Xiaoyu to hop into her arms so she could give the lighter girl a lift on her jet wings.

* * *

_Author's note: I was picturing Xiaoyu in her Tekken Mobile outfit again when I wrote this. It's basically Yamashita's redesign of her with elements of her Tekken 7 design and Alisa's cute asymmetrical nylon stylings. In "Thief of Hearts," it was the design of Xiaoyu's weird robot clone built by Alisa. In "Slip Slidin' Away," it was the result of Xiaoyu and Alisa performing the Fusion Dance in the reactor of a giant robot against their will. In this story, it's the regular outfit the real Xiaoyu wears and just gets some of Alisa's fingerprints on it. It works as foreshadowing I guess. __Her industrial boob tattoo is in no way inspired by the undead demon chicks from Taimanin Asagi. Nope. No sir. I've never even heard of Taimanin Anything. And her other tattoo in the back certainly wasn't based on a Coppertone ad from 1953._


End file.
